Nana's Question

Thunder's Mouth Theatre  presents "Am I old yet?" Season 10 Episode Two. Helen has received a note from Jennifer, a neighbour who lives in the flat across the corridor with her husband Harry, and her 103 year old grandmother, Nana Madeleine. Helen and Nana have always enjoyed sharing their thoughts on life death, mortality and immortality without fear or favour. And this time is no exception. Although, perhaps with a heightened sense of immediacy, I hope you like it

KNOCK ON DOOR. DOOR OPENS

JENNIFER:                           Oh, Helen!

HELEN:                                  Yes, Jennifer, I got your note. Nana wants to see me? Is she - is she alright?

JENNIFER:                           Well, yes and yeah, yes and no, she's, she's alright. But we wanted you to know she's decided to go into hospice care. She'll be going at the end of the week and she just wanted to have a chat with you before she goes.

HELEN:                                  Oh my goodness. Oh, dear. Oh God, Jennifer. I feel oh, it's not about me. No, I've just been so wrapped up in all the stuff I've been doing. I haven't seen her for ages. Right. Okay. Right.

JENNIFER:                           Don't you worry about it, Helen. Because you've been busy. And just just come on in and have a have a little chat.

HELEN:                                  All right. Thank you.

JENNIFER:                           I'll bring the coffee.

HELEN:                                  Oh, thanks. Thanks, Jenny.

TAPS ON DOOR

NANA:                                    Come. Oh, Helen, you came.

HELEN:                                  Hi, Nana. Hey, look at you. Oh, looking good.

NANA:                                    Oh, that's good. I don't know how I look. I don't really care. Lovely to see you. How are you?

HELEN:                                  Oh, I'm fine. I'm just been busy.

NANA:                                    I know. Of course!

HELEN:                                  Yes, there have been a few things cropped up that I had to deal with. Yeah. So you've, you've decided to go to the hospice. Did you suddenly start to feel worse?

NANA:                                    Oh no, not suddenly. It's been coming for years. It's alright. I just I know it's time and Jenny and Harry we talked and they know is the best. It's best for me. It's best for them.

HELEN:                                  Yes. Right.

NANA:                                    Suppose you want to know how long I think I'm going to last

HELEN:                                  Nana. It has crossed my mind to wonder.

NANA:                                    I know we do wonder. Maybe a few weeks not long anyway. I will be much more comfortable there. They-- they know how to do these things to keep you comfortable. So, Helen,  you don't have to come and visit me. You know I will probably be asleep if you come.

HELEN:                                  But I'd like to.

NANA:                                    Well then you're welcome. But if you come and I am sleeping. You must promise me something.

HELEN:                                  Yes?.

NANA:                                    You must promise me you won't think the time is wasted.

HELEN:                                  Good point. No, I won't do that. I will not think the time is wasted. I'll have spent it thinking about you. And that's never a waste.

NANA:                                    That's a good way to look at it. Yes.

HELEN:                                  To look at it. Yes. I guess so.

NANA:                                    Now, sit down, here. On the bed.  I have a question for you.

HELEN:                                  Go for it.

NANA:                                    Your friends, these immortal ones. How do they feel about death? I know they can kill people, but they cannot die. So they must have some way of... living? That we simply cannot imagine because we are designed to die. That is our - oh, I've lost a word but you know  what I mean?

HELEN:                                  Yes, I do. Well, the thing is, according to Demeter, they are condemned, if you like, to relive all those mythological adventures that humans have created... about them because they know they're-- they're a created race, created by the minds and imaginations of the humans. They know that

NANA:                                    so--

HELEN:                                  so yes. So it's not easy. It's not easy, being immortal and having to relive everything that's... that's been deemed to be part of your life over and over again. Never learning from your mistakes really. Although this... this, this current manifestation of their lives they do seem to be capable of moving on, in some ways, learning from their mistakes.

NANA:                                    Oh, yes, I heard about the lady... about Mina, how Zeus managed to get her off the street, into the shelter, by pretending to be a dog.

HELEN:                                  Jenny told you did she? Yes, it was rather wonderful. He was determined not to do anything that would be could be looked upon as interfering with the humans--with the mortals, and then... and then being here, with us, seeing our lives, and then seeing that it really wasn't going to take too much effort just to do an act of kindness, simple act of kindness changed a lot for him and, and you know, Nana. I haven't seen them for a while but they've definitely undergone a shift in their experience,

NANA:                                    Becoming more mortal? Maybe they will lose that immortality.

HELEN:                                  Well 'they'll certainly lose it when the human race dies out, that's for sure. There'll be nobody left to imagine them.

NANA:                                    Very true. That's a bit Doom laden. Are you feeling right? Helen?

HELEN:                                  Oh, yes I'm alright. And I don't depress about these things. I just know that we are headed for extinction. Eventually. And sooner than it should be. Because we're pretty stupid really, aren't we?

NANA:                                    Oh, yes, I know. Oh. Yes. My beloved, Mischka, he used to say to me, "we are the two cleverest people in the world, because we know how stupid we are."

HELEN:                                  Oh, yeah. Then what do you think Nana? Gonna see him again?

NANA:                                    What? After I die in some magical place? No, I never had any religious feelings at all. My mother was so cross with me. But no, we-we were not too religious. He and I. And do you know what I tell you a secret. Just like you with your immortals who've come to visit you, who don't exist. He is still with me. He never left me. So it's good. No.

HELEN:                                  Yes. Sounds pretty good to me.

NANA:                                    Ahhh.

HELEN:                                  Oh Nana you're so tired.  I'm sorry. I don't want to make you any more tired.

NANA:                                    Helen , my darling, really. I am beyond tired. Yes, that too is possible. So but I will sleep now. Thank you for coming to see me. I'm so happy to see you.... Is Jenny making coffee?

HELEN:                                  Oh, well, she said she was

NANA:                                    well you go and sit with her and drink your coffee. Thank you.

FLLOYD:                               Thank you, Nana--oh. You're asleep already...

MUSIC

MISCHKA:                             Maddie!  Maddie!  Madeleine!  Maddie...Has she gone?

NANA:                                    Who?

MISCHKA:                             Your friend Helen!  What, have you forgotten her already?

NANA:                                    Of course not, Micha! But I will make a very good effort to forget you, if you are just going to tease me. I need to sleep. Come back later.

MISCHKA:                             You may sleep, my darling Madeleine. I am not going anywhere. Whether you forget me or not.

NANA:                                    I know. Thank you.

MISCHKA:                             For what?

NANA:                                    For loving me.

MISCHKA:                             Hah! So you should. Who else would love you, heh? So beautiful, so kind, so clever, what's to love about you?

NANA:                                    You're silly.

MISCHKA:                             I know!  It's my greatest talent. And I learnt it from you.

NANA:                                    So now you're saying I'm silly? What is it, I can't be clever, and silly too.

MISCHKA:                             Yes you can.

NANA:                                    No I can't!

MISCHKA:                             Can so.

NANA:                                    Cannot.

MISCHKA:                             You're doing it now.  Right now. This very instant. You are being silly all the time without ever not being clever.

NANA:                                    Oh... if you say so.  I'm too tired to argue with you. Let me sleep, Mischka, darling. Let me sleep.

MISCHKA:                             I'm not stopping you, Maddy darling.  You are sleeping already.

NANA:                                    Oh? Am I really? But then why do I still feel so tired?  My bones are so tired. I feel them so heavy, they are falling down, they are dragging me down through the bed.

MISCHKA:                             Let them go. You don't need them when you are asleep. Lean into me, I will hold you.

NANA:                                    [SIGH] Ohhhh. Oh that is better.  Now [GIGGLES] I can feel your bones. Your strong bones.

MISCHKA:                             Yes.  I'm the strong boney man. I will carry you - oh!  Look, you are as light as a feather from the mattress.

NANA:                                    I am?  How did you --

MISCHKA:                             Don't ask how. Just enjoy the ride.

NANA:                                    Where are you taking me?  Ooooh. The sky is so bright!

MISCHKA:                             We are going to the fair. Remember? The very first time we went out, together. After school. Just you and me, and the rest of the world spinning softly around us.

NANA:                                    I remember.  So much laughter.  So much laughter.  [LAUGHING]

MISCHKA:                             [LAUGHING]

MUSIC CROSS FADE

HELEN:                                  Did you hear that?

JENNIFER:                           Yes! It's Nana.  Sometimes she just laughs in her sleep. Laughs and laughs.  I ask her, what was she dreaming about. She just says, it's Mischka.  He makes me laugh.  He can't help doing it, and I can't help laughing.

HELEN:                                  Ain't it grand?

JENNIFER:                           True love. Oh yes.  They really had it.

MUSIC

MIDROLL

MUSIC

CREDITS

that was episode two of season 10 performed by myself as Helen, Jennifer and Nana, and guest artist Karim Kronfli as Mischka. The music is from John T La Barbera's album, "In the Labyrinth", available on Spotify. 

And if you'd like to hear more about Madeline and Mischka's courtship, have a listen to Episode 6 of Season 1, "Saving Grounds". Please take a moment to subscribe or follow and rate the podcast if you haven't already. And you can drop a review or comment in your podcasting app or over at the website AmIoldyet.com/reviews. You'll have noticed the advent of ads in the podcast. That's because while it might be free to listen to, it's not actually free to make. And I'm determined to find a way to recompense my fabulous guest artists, such as Karim, who we heard here making his first appearance with Thunder's Mouth.You'll hear more of him in the new podcast "Baked Off!" when we get round to recording it. Meantime, thanks for listening. Stay safe. And now for the epilogue

HELEN:                                  [LAUGHING`]

JENNIFER:                           [LAUGHING] and she was so insistent, so Harry says "if you have a role for someone with a voice like a bullfrog, I'm your man!"  And she says, "perfect! Come with me" and she drags him over to the piano, and gets him to sing 'happy birthday'

HELEN:                                  and he actually sang it?

JENNIFER:                           Oh yes. He does go on about how he's not a singer, but actually he has a really nice bass voice. And he used to belong to a Gilbert and Sullivan group back in the day.

HELEN:                                  Well, I never knew that. Good on him!  And you? You're going to be in the show too?

JENNIFER:                           Yes, they let me in. I'll be in the chorus. One of the washer women, I think.

HELEN:                                  Great fun...

MUSIC